Sunday, 10 March 2013

Bad Days

Warning: Incredibly personal post below. Please, family, don't read this. Or at least, pretend you didn't when you speak to me.

Also I wrote this post over a couple of days; the first one being one of these 'bad days' I speak of, the second being a much better and happier day. You can definitely tell and I apologise in advance for the moodiness you are about to read. 

Bad days. We all have them.

I have them frequently. In fact, I just had a week of them. And you know what makes them worse - "fat days". Or, well, lacking-in-self-confidence-days. We all have these, too. And again, I had a week of it. [I would just like to clarify here that my bad week was for more reasons then what I discuss below, some of which I don't feel like going into here. But what I talk about below definitely contributed to it]

I'm not really sure why I felt so bad about myself all week. I have a good life; I get to go to uni, I have food and it's not a struggle for me to live. I am physically healthy and relatively fit. But for some reason, this last week has been a real struggle.

I think it's because I don't have a lot of friends down here. I have my rooomates, who are absolutely amazing, but that's really it. No one else. I have friends back where I am from, who I miss terribly and talk to when I can, but I don't have unconditional friends like that here. I really wish I did. I don't know how to change it either - I constantly feel like no one would want to be my friend, so why should I bother?

So I end up talking to my Mum a lot, and telling her stuff I really should only be telling a friend. And while I love my Mum, I miss having friends. And I guess somewhere along the way, I got too scared to make new friends.

Now I don't know where to start. I always feel like people are judging me when I try to make friends; I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, my grades are too good, I'm too nerdy, etc. The thing is; I really do like who I am. I probably wouldn't change all that much about myself. I would like to have better looking feet, and eyebrows that didn't droop over my face (yes these are things that I obsess about) and a flat stomach, but otherwise, I like myself just fine. Most of the time. But for some reason, I feel like other people won't. And it scares me.

Told you it was going to get personal around here.

But to make up for all the stuff above, here are some pictures from my time in America. Where I had no bad days. And cue happy music.

Also, I think I am going to be splitting up the pictures from the trip, because when I started choosing some I was so excited I chose WAY too many. So here are some from my first few days in New York City and when I first went to Plymouth, MA to visit my friend. I come back to NYC by myself at the end of my trip, so there will be heaps more then. And these are unedited. Just regular old pictures for you all, straight off my camera.I definitely enjoyed Massachusetts / Boston / Plymouth more than NYC. I just loved that state. It was amazing.

Just a street in NY. Outside the Public Library.

Cartier all decorated for Christmas. Was so gorgeous.

The giant tree at Rockefeller Centre. 

The ice-skating rink in Central Park. This photo does not do justice to its size. I didn't skate so much as hold on to my friend for dear life while she skated.

Central Park in Winter. Same caption for pic below.

In Plymouth - the beach. Very beautiful, but I have never seen a beach covered in snow before. It was freezing this day. 

The front of my friend's place the night we got to Plymouth. I'd never seen snow like that before.

Biscuits and gravy. Did not try it. Did not want to. These biscuits are not what Australian's call 'biscuits' so I was (and still am) very confused about this breakfast.

The amazing, proper American diner we ate breakfast ate. I seriously loved it. I've read about these and seen them in movies but it was pretty cool to go to one. 

My breakfast at the dinner. French toast with strawberries, whipped cream and proper OJ. This was a giant meal. Seriously, can people actually eat all of that?

This is the diner. If you are near Plymouth or live there, go there. It's fantastic.

The slice of proper American apple pie I got from the diner. I really wanted to try all the traditional American things. This was fantastic.


  1. aw i'm sorry. we all have bad days, you are not alone. in those times i just remember it is about who I am with not the smaller details like food, body, stress, etc. Hope you feel better this monday!

    1. Thanks Alex! It was a bad few days but you're definitely right - it's about who you are.

  2. I loved you as soon as I met you :)
    And I feel that my multiple personalities should each count as one friend
    So when you think about it, you actually have like a million friends

    1. Hahaha, I don't think your multiple personalities count haha. But thank you anyway <3

  3. I'm so glad that you are back to blogging. You have a lovely writing style and I always love you topics. This one was great as always. I feel the same way, in fact, I haven't even told anyone but my parents about my blog. And they don't know the name of it, so no, they can't read it :D

    If you ever need a "friend" (as much as an internet prescence can be a friend. lol) I'm here! :)

    I hope you share more of your pictures from your trip. Diners really are as awesome as they look in the movies. We have one just a few miles from us and the menu is just great. Apple pie. Definite American classic.

    I seriously laughed out loud at your apprehension over the biscuits. Have you ever had an American biscuit? Are they more similar to your scones maybe? Biscuits and gravy is a breakfast that both my dad and brother love, but I've never tried it because as a kid I didn't like gravy too much. You'll definitely have to give making a biscuit a spin though if you've never had them. Ever heard of Pillsbury?

    1. Awww thanks Madison. Your comment definitely made my day. And thanks for the lovely friend comment - I may take you up on that! I will definitely share more pictures :) I have heard of Pillsbury, but I'm not quite sure what it is. I couldn't try the biscuits because I couldn't eat the gravy haha. And scones are sweet, are biscuits sweet? :)

    2. Oh, that must be Britain where scones are savoury :) No, biscuits are usually buttery or salty. Do you have dinner rolls with your meals ever? Biscuits and rolls are pretty interchangeable. Normally you top them with butter or jam, and sometimes people make them into egg and cheese sandwiches. I would say that this recipe by Alton Brown basically classifies the classic American "biscuit": :)

  4. I'm so sorry to hear that you've had so many bad days lately! I can totally relate to some of the things you mentioned. I'm not one of those people who like going out. I like going out for dinner or a drink or two but I'm not into clubbing at all....which makes me very different from the rest of the world (or at least I thought so). When I moved to England finding friends was soooo hard. Every one was into going out, getting drunk and I was a foodie who would rather cook, bake, hang out at home and hit the gym. My siblings told me to just get over my fear and go out with them but I couldn't be myself when I did.

    Now that I live in Germany things are so much better. The interns at the company are all so incredible and spending time with them is so muc fun. I can be myslef and they accept for who I am. I have friends at home but sometimes I feel like they think that I live in Munich and don't talk to anyone all day. They actually emailed me one time saying that I should come home over the weekend cause I don't have friends in Munich anyways (that really hurt my feelings). I'm quite outgoing and I love to talk but I'm just not into clubbing, drinking, etc.

    My advice for you is to stay yourself. Don't try to be like someone else because you are perfect the way you are. I was happy to read that you accept yourself the way you are and I am sure you'll find some really special friends. Good things mostly happen when you least expect them (at least that's how it was for me) :) I have the feeling that we are quite similar!!

    1. Thanks Antonia - your comment was so lovely and it definitely made me feel a lot better. I totally get where you're coming from when it comes to going out - that's how I feel sometimes too (ok, most of the time) and I'd rather just stick with being me. Thanks for the advice - I try to accept myself haha!

      I'm glad that everything worked out when you moved back to Germany. It's a shame about your friends back home (I get that too!) but I think it's so great that you stick to who you are. That's inspiring.

      I think we're quite similar too!

  5. Nawww I think we all have crappy days. Ever since I moved to Toowoomba from my hometown (like 2 years ago now) I have found it hard to make new friends.

    As Antonia said above, most people our age are into getting into a lot of drama/hard core partying and I would love to find some buddies that are into the same things I am into (maybe that's why I love reading blogs so much - it's a community I relate to!)

    If only me, you and Antonia lived in the same area, we would have a ball! We are kinda in the same area (if you are still in Brisbane) feel free to talk to me whenever! xo Em

    1. Thanks Emily. Your comment was lovely. And you're right - that's why I like reading blogs. I'm definitely still in Brisbane - if you ever come down sometime we should have a catch up (at Max Brenner for sure haha). And we would definitely have a ball (how Australian is that saying?)! Thanks Em x