Also I wrote this post over a couple of days; the first one being one of these 'bad days' I speak of, the second being a much better and happier day. You can definitely tell and I apologise in advance for the moodiness you are about to read.
Bad days. We all have them.
I have them frequently. In fact, I just had a week of them. And you know what makes them worse - "fat days". Or, well, lacking-in-self-confidence-days. We all have these, too. And again, I had a week of it. [I would just like to clarify here that my bad week was for more reasons then what I discuss below, some of which I don't feel like going into here. But what I talk about below definitely contributed to it]
I'm not really sure why I felt so bad about myself all week. I have a good life; I get to go to uni, I have food and it's not a struggle for me to live. I am physically healthy and relatively fit. But for some reason, this last week has been a real struggle.
I think it's because I don't have a lot of friends down here. I have my rooomates, who are absolutely amazing, but that's really it. No one else. I have friends back where I am from, who I miss terribly and talk to when I can, but I don't have unconditional friends like that here. I really wish I did. I don't know how to change it either - I constantly feel like no one would want to be my friend, so why should I bother?
So I end up talking to my Mum a lot, and telling her stuff I really should only be telling a friend. And while I love my Mum, I miss having friends. And I guess somewhere along the way, I got too scared to make new friends.
Now I don't know where to start. I always feel like people are judging me when I try to make friends; I'm not pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, my grades are too good, I'm too nerdy, etc. The thing is; I really do like who I am. I probably wouldn't change all that much about myself. I would like to have better looking feet, and eyebrows that didn't droop over my face (yes these are things that I obsess about) and a flat stomach, but otherwise, I like myself just fine. Most of the time. But for some reason, I feel like other people won't. And it scares me.
Told you it was going to get personal around here.
But to make up for all the stuff above, here are some pictures from my time in America. Where I had no bad days. And cue happy music.
Also, I think I am going to be splitting up the pictures from the trip, because when I started choosing some I was so excited I chose WAY too many. So here are some from my first few days in New York City and when I first went to Plymouth, MA to visit my friend. I come back to NYC by myself at the end of my trip, so there will be heaps more then. And these are unedited. Just regular old pictures for you all, straight off my camera.I definitely enjoyed Massachusetts / Boston / Plymouth more than NYC. I just loved that state. It was amazing.
Just a street in NY. Outside the Public Library.
Cartier all decorated for Christmas. Was so gorgeous.
The giant tree at Rockefeller Centre.
The ice-skating rink in Central Park. This photo does not do justice to its size. I didn't skate so much as hold on to my friend for dear life while she skated.
Central Park in Winter. Same caption for pic below.
In Plymouth - the beach. Very beautiful, but I have never seen a beach covered in snow before. It was freezing this day.
The front of my friend's place the night we got to Plymouth. I'd never seen snow like that before.
Biscuits and gravy. Did not try it. Did not want to. These biscuits are not what Australian's call 'biscuits' so I was (and still am) very confused about this breakfast.
The amazing, proper American diner we ate breakfast ate. I seriously loved it. I've read about these and seen them in movies but it was pretty cool to go to one.
My breakfast at the dinner. French toast with strawberries, whipped cream and proper OJ. This was a giant meal. Seriously, can people actually eat all of that?
This is the diner. If you are near Plymouth or live there, go there. It's fantastic.
The slice of proper American apple pie I got from the diner. I really wanted to try all the traditional American things. This was fantastic.